Monday, December 19, 2011

Sexuality distorted.

Sexuality is susceptible – like any other facet of a person – to distortion and bondage if it is revealed to the individual through the Spirit as a block to further relationship with God. I'll admit this is a thought resulting from some wrestling with the hot topic of homosexuality. The thing is, my heterosexuality has baggage and blocks that I too have to walk through in order to further my relationship with God. The test then becomes the terrifying step of allowing God to truly reveal my own brokenness, trusting his goodness to be refining. Will I open my palms and let God look at all of me, and be willing to let him remove thorns that He identifies – even though I treasure it? Do I trust that God is good enough to do this and not destroy me? Do I trust that God knows better than I do? Do I trust that God redeems and makes new, not destroys?

Can I get to a place where I never believe that I am done being refined? After walking through a season of refining, can I still hold this “made new” part of myself lightly and openly say “God change this if you need to”.

Nothing is mine. Nothing is beyond the refining fire of God’s love.

And then…however God handles my gender, sexuality, my fears, my relationships, my innermost being, my deepest wounds, my greatest treasures…I will praise him and believe that He is good.

How deep the damage done when we, broken and wounded ourselves, try to be God’s refining fire in other’s woundedness.

Love is kind.

Please read this gently and gracefully. I'm not claiming to be right or have any answers, I'm processing out loud. I think what I see is that we start by all knowing we are broken and walking together, and the question "Is homosexuality wrong?" is a bad starting point. We start not with "How do we love them?" but with "How do I love you?"

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