The Greatest Thing in the World

I think it is no coincidence when themes begin to happen in life. So, understand that for me this was no coincidence that today I was reminded that there was a tiny antique book tucked decoratively into one of my bookshelves. I had never read it, my mom had given it to my husband actually about four or five years ago.

And today for some odd reason, it came to mind. So I read it on my lunch break and I laughed out loud when I opened the cover to read 1 Corinthians 13.

These little themes happen so often now I feel like it shouldn't keep surprising me, but it does. Because it is such a joy to notice the small easily dismissed details that are woven together by the Spirit to grow us if we pay attention. Or not. Maybe the growing still happens, there is just so much joy and delight in being brought into awareness of these things happening.

So I read a little book, a sermon from the 1890's, by Henry Drummond, titled "The Greatest Thing in the World". Inside, there are 80 tiny pages on Love. Some pieces of it I loved so much I thought I'd share them here.

Love. The greatest thing in the world. According to a 1890's Scottish evangelist and missionary.

I kind of love that this little guy had a burst of popularity and was forgotten, and then 120 years later the little book is on my shelf and the Spirit nudged. I read his little book and God used his words to speak to my spirit in a season of learning about Love.

The Way of Love.

So something that my husband and I have been doing for the past six weeks is looking at 1 Corinthians 13, you know it, the Way of Love.
I don't know why I haven't thought about blogging it, but we'll just pick up where we are at currently. It's been really great to take this passage one descriptor at a time, one week at a time.

Every Sunday we write the next one on the chalkboard in our living room, and then throughout the week we write things that we've heard, verses we've read, songs, you name it, on the board. At the end of the week it's been really uplifting to read all we've written and then erase it, and start on the next one.

We're on week six of this experiment. So we've looked at Love being
Patient
Kind
Not envious
Not boastful
Not arrogant

Today we wrote a new word on the board:

I think that on Sundays I will share the board in a post and introduce the next one.We'll see what ends up on the board this week!

  And now I will show you a still more excellent way. If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 ⁸ Love never fails.

Gender and Friendship

I have run across several interesting blog posts on this topic lately and it is definitely a topic of interest for me. Christians have a tendency to avoid opposite gender friendships for reasons such as "Temptation is always there" and this sense that sex or affairs just accidentally happen. I've always been troubled by the way that this is handled and let me tell you why it bothers me so much. 

Men in our churches are raised thinking that they are to fear their hypersexuality, and women are raised thinking that they are a temptation. Not to mention that women are often represented as passive participants in sex in general. 

Women in church leadership is also a matter close to my heart and this is one huge obstacle I see between women truly being free to follow a call to ministry in many denominations. If men have been taught that they can't trust themselves to be in close proximity to a woman, and that woman is thought of as the temptress  then how can men in leadership risk letting women into these leadership circles? 

There is such a big gender barrier in the church (I know this does not apply to every denomination or expression of the church, but living in a conservative town, it is quite relevant).

I also feel that these boundaries seem to ignore single people. How cruel to permit the deepest intimacy to married couples alone? I'm not talking about intercourse, I'm talking about intimacy. Singles in our churches get the short end of the stick already, and so much of this is because intimacy is kept for the institution of marriage. Intimacy in the church is rather lacking already, and we are called to a very high standard of intimacy if you ask me. Love 1 Corinthians 13 style is not just for married people, this is the church's standard. 

Are there risks in intimacy? Sure there are. But this is where I think we've lost a bit of the vision of what intimacy in the church is like and how it could function.

I am finishing my master's in marriage and family therapy and one of the things we discuss in supervision and classes is the reality of attraction. We acknowledge that attraction WILL happen, that we as therapists/humans/men/women are not immune or above attraction. And yet, this empowers us to be able to enter into intimate relationship with men and women, eyes open, and most importantly encourages us to have a supportive community to turn to when (not if) the situation arises. It is risky. Sure. But, I'm thinking about the church as an intimate community of accountability, one where we don't have secrets, one that "always protects". It is absolutely necessary to have our eyes open to the fact that attraction happens, but that in itself is 1) natural, 2) not the sin. It's the next action you take that matters.  I am thinking about challenging marriages to rise to the challenge. Why limit intimacy outside of marriage and keep marriage at the level it is at? Why not enrich and strengthen your marriage as the safeguard instead? Don’t put yourself in a position where you are handling the inevitable on your own.  Don't avoid intimacy keeping your marriage the same, instead bolster your marriage, open communication and intimacy with your church and if applicable, your spouse. Singles, you are worthy of intimacy. Being brothers and sisters in Christ is a deep intimacy. This is a challenge to the type of spiritual community the church should be. We’ve got to get past the taboo that sexual attraction doesn’t happen to real Christians. We are sexual beings. Attraction happens. Being married doesn’t make you go blind. Being married does not make you unattractive either.

What matters is having an intimate community that is living out love for each other. None of us should place ourselves in any situation thinking we can handle it on our own. The church is a community, and our faith is way too individualized in our society.  If you don’t have a community that you could be so vulnerable with as to admit attraction for the sake of support and protection, maybe it is too risky. We western Christians try to do way too much on our own.

If I ever feel like harboring a secret, that's a pretty good sign that I should bring my spiritual community in on this. Secrecy is a very powerful thing. Have the conversation with your spouse about attraction being a reality. Have the conversation with your church about intimacy and attraction. 

So much is lost in the segregation of gender in the church. Is it worth the challenge of 1 Corinthians 13?

A couple of blogs on the topic:

Meredith Efkin

 Richard Beck

Dan Brennan

Be my Valentine

Happy Valentine's Day!
So yesterday I wasn't sure we were going to get to celebrate because of the demands of school, but we did the best we could. I was okay with it and thinking that we would just do what we had to do. Then Austin showed up at school with all kinds of goodies! Tulips, chocolate, jelly bellies, a card and a big stuffed purple unicorn I am calling Kirbee.

That evening I cooked a real meal (when you are in grad school this is a rarity) while he studied for his test the next morning. I set the table, we turned on some music, opened a bottle of wine and had a wonderful dinner. We took turns answering "love maps" questions (a therapy tool) and having a blast. "Love maps" are a whole stack of questions like "What is your partner's secret ambition?" or "What is your partner's favorite way to spend a weekend?"

Then I helped Austin study.

We were both struck by what a wonderful low key evening this was, and that the real magic of Valentine's Day was just that we absolutely love being in each others company. Lavishly impressing each other was not the point of this V Day. It was about quality time and appreciating what we have. I am very blessed to be married to my best friend.

Happy Anniversary #3 !

Well, what a fantastic day!
7:30 am: Leave house with coffee in hand, and pick up AM Donuts and our $100 anniversary allowance.

10:30: Arrive at Ft Worth zoo after a very wonderful drive! Saw beautiful animals and a gorrilla charge at a dude through the glass. $12

1:30: Visit the Kimbell art museum. $0

2:30: Lunch at Great Outdoor Subs. $16

3:00: Jamba Juice! $8

3:30: Botanic Gardens and Japanese Garden. $6

5:30: A little window shopping. $0

6:30: Pei Wei lettuce wraps...mmm! $12

And of course a fabulous drive home and getting to spend the entire day together...priceless.

And we made it home with $37 left of our allowance.

3/3/3/3

That's right! Notice the ticker? Today is exactly 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days until our 3 year anniversary! Isn't that crazy? I think we should celebrate.

We went to the paramount last night for the ACU GSA "date night" which consisted of a free movie, popcorn and a drink. The movie was Casablanca, the popcorn was delicious, and the night was spectacular! Yay for free dates! Thanks, ACU!

Well, I've gotta go make corn bread for church tonight!

Happy Anniversary!

Yesterday was our two year wedding anniversary! We both had to work all day, but still managed to have a wonderful evening. Austin showed up at my work all dressed up with beautiful pink roses, and when I got home, I walked in to find our tiny little house a romantic get away. There was Sinatra and Nat playing and candles everywhere. We danced, ate Olive Garden entrees that Austin had picked up on his way home and enjoyed a glass of pinot noir. It was fabulous. And I was worried that we wouldn't get to do anything for our anniversary.

These two years have been absolutely wonderful! I can't imagine my life being any different than how it is, and I can't imagine life without Austin. I still feel like marriage is a gift and a blessing and there's not a thing in the world I'm more thankful for every day than the wonderful husband that I get to live life with each moment. These two years have been so wonderful, I can' wait to see what's next. Just when I think it can't get better than this, it does.

Thank you, Austin, for being my true love!

Turn turn turn...

Austin and I were talking last night about how things are turning out and wondering to ourselves, "what's next?" when Austin said, "Isn't it wierd to think that this is next? That when we were living in Austin we wondered what would be next and now here we are," That blew my mind. We are so quick to move on to the next.

The past us never imagined that we would go from being employed at a pottery (which the past- past us never imagined!) and fellowshiping with a house church to moving back to Abilene with high hopes of grad school, jobs and grand adventures. But here we are. I'm in school, Austin starts in the fall, we're moving into a little rent house, got new computers, sold pottery at the coolest coffee shop in town and so much more. I mean, these are the things you could never plan. I think it is important to remember where you come from. And not to worry so much about where you are going becuase if He's leading you, you'll get there. We're entering into a very hectic crazy time in our lives as young married college/grad students with jobs (well, i'm still looking). We're really going to need God's strength and wisdom and guidance for this time. But all of it is made so sweet by this excitement of new opportunity. It's gonna be a ride!

And speaking of change, isn't it amazing how everything seems to happen at once? I'm afraid that I might need to sell my car sometime soon, so please be praying that we do the right thing at the right time.

New jobs, new degrees, new cars, new house (rent!), new fellowship, new...

...and yet the old remains a part of you forever. Not a day goes by that I don't think of the people and things I loved in Austin. I am who I am becuase of them! So if any of you are reading this, know that you are all so deeply seeded in my heart, and I pray for you often with joy. Paul said it best...

3I thank my God every time I remember you. 4In all my prayers for all of
you, I always pray with joy 5because of your partnership in the gospel from the
first day until now, 6being confident of this, that he who began a good work in
you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
7It
is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart;
for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you
share in God's grace with me. 8God can testify how I long for all of you with
the affection of Christ Jesus.
9And this is my prayer: that your love
may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10so that you may be
able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of
Christ, 11filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus
Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

Congratulations to Russell and Suzy on the arrival of Ryan West. I can't wait to meet you!

Happy Love Day!

Austin and I had an incredible day, and here is a photo that sums it all up...

Art walk, fancy dinner, coffee shop, love notes, candy and Homer. Love is a many splendid thing.


Right now I am trying out a recipe for peach cobbler for two in a dish that Austin made. Wish me luck!

The Excellence of Love

If I speak in the tongues of men and angels but do not have love I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains but do not have love, I am nothing.
*And if I give all my money to the poor and surrender my body to be burned but do not love, then if profits me nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous, love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly it does not seek its own, is not provoked does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, endures all things.

Love Never Fails...


'Nuf said.

*Isn't it interesting that this could be easier than loving someone?

God is not selfish

So I thought for a while that God was the most selfish person in the world because for us to be like Him we had to be totally God focused, and so if that were the case, God must be the most God focused person of all because he's perfect...

My idea is changing...

God is perfect selflessness. To be like God is to be selfless... He made us with needs for a relationship with Him but also needs that can only be met through other people. He shares us with others to make us more like Him. He is not selfish. He is the most selfless person in the world. So much so that He died for us, He lets us be His image, He wants the Church to be His body and He lets us totally screw it up and give Him a bad name because He is Love. Selfless Love. God is Love. He has no physical shape or form because He wants to be seen and known through his Body. I have seen God. He looks like me, my husband, my mom and dad, my dog...well not really my dog, but I do learn a lot of God lessons from dealing with him!

Anyway, He makes Himself known through those He created in His image. I don't think that means that God looks like man, but that man reflects God. Our souls are expressions of Himself and He chose for His image to be a bunch of crazy messed up people trying to figure out how to live out our faith...and maybe one day, we'll catch a glimpse of God. And the world will see Him. His body in perfect harmony with one another and loving each other like there's no tomorrow no matter who you are or if you are "one of us" or "one of them" or whatever.

If we each have a role in the Body I hope I am a heart cell. I hope I can be a thriving heart cell and help the life blood flow to the outer extremities and maybe revitalize some tired finger cells or brain cells. I hope I can begin to understand the matters of God's heart and this Love thing that is not a commodity but a life force and a free gift that we should not hold back from anyone ever.