I grabbed wedding pictures. Family pictures.
I grabbed meaningful tokens that linked me to the way things were.
I grabbed so many things that suddenly I realized that I'd never get to keep it all. It would slow me down, it was just a false comfort in this moment that I could take them with me now. I knew things would never get better and eventually I wouldn't care about these things that I felt compelled to grab in a desperate attempt to hang on and hope.
I looked at my two dogs. I knew we would take them, but I knew it wouldn't be long before we would have to lose them. I was devastated.
I woke up one minute before my alarm clock was going to go off.
When facing death, ultimately, where do I find hope? Do I put my hope in things that won't stand up to death? When all is stripped away, death's raw and terrifying reality is inescapable. So much of my life is built around buffering me from the reality of death. And the truth of the matter is that there's nothing I can do to avoid death.
This makes salvation something so incredible.
Jesus conquered death.
Jesus conquered the work of death in this world.
Jesus brings life.
Nothing but Jesus.
I can live in death
or I can live in Life.
But I can't do a thing in the world to bring salvation. This is the unfathomable work of the Cross.
The only hope of life is in a Death...and a resurrection.
I don't want to live a life in fear of death. It seeps in to every minuscule decision of self preservation or gain. I want to live in the hope put forth by the gospel. That Jesus conquered Death. That Jesus gives Life.
Philippians 1:21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.